“We were together. I forget the rest.”
–Walt Whitman
Couples’ communication breakdowns, fighting, competing, clinging, and hopelessness often mask an underlying question—Are you there for me? When the answer sensed is “maybe” or “no,” problems result from unmet emotional need. Every couple has ups and downs. And there is no guarantee that any couple will remain together forever. Even marriage, the strongest commitment to one another, can be fragile. But your best bet is having the ability to restore your emotional connection. Moments of repair are based on partners’ emotional accessibility, attuned responsiveness, and active engagement. My task is to help the couple grow their emotional presence to one another and to enhance their ability to reconnect emotionally and heal disruptions, both with their current problem and in the future.
Premarital Therapy
Many people seek my help when deciding whether to come together seriously as a couple, at the onset of commitment. Some are ambivalent about making a commitment, feel indecisive, and question their or their partner’s ability to successfully blend one another’s individual needs, separately established patterns, and personal differences in a satisfying relationship.
Most often, the aim is to work through doubts and affirm the commitment to go ahead together. This often is achieved as the partners are helped to explore and understand their concerns about intimacy through a process that fosters their emotional connection by improving communication. These and other learnings, including positive habits, provide a foundation that reinforces the couples’ commitment as they move on to face the future together.
Relationship Counseling
In times of stress, confusion and doubt can occur even in mature relationships. Relationship counseling is for those who have felt a weakening of their intimate connections, either while facing special concerns or during the general course of their relationship.
My approach blends various methods, including newer ones based on neurobiological understandings of personal and relational growth. We also explore negative cycles and discover how personal history may create trouble for current relationships. During the process, both partners learn more effective ways of being emotionally present, listening, and expressing themselves. Contact us for more information.